I guess I celebrate (sort of without her permission) because when she was born it was not the peaceful joyous occasion depicted on TV. Her birth was full of doctors wondering, older siblings being sick and the not so distant but always in the for ground death of my father. Her birth was full of tears, of having a very sick child, of the flight for life airplane ride, the stay and all the emotions of being a Children's Hospital. Most devistating the medical staff of Children's Hospital telling me to expect nothing from her and that I would be her care taker the rest of her "disabled" life. Being sent home with a child not any better health wise and in my sleep deprived, worry filled reality, very little hope for a future. (We can talk about my pride and all that stuff later.)
Fast forward 12 years ...Doctors at Children, Hospital you were so wrong! I have never met another person who celebrates her life so well. Not just on her birthday, but every day. It is the joy of walking in the woods, or of a great 2 foot landing after jumping out of a swing. It's the joy of playing with cousins and best friends. It is the quiet contentment of cuddling with her dogs. It is the joy of sharing jumping into puddles after an evening rainstorm, with Aunt Marci. Seeing the delight on Toni's face for the find of the perfect puddle, perfect light, the perfect partner to experience it: that is the definition of love for life.
Maybe having Down Syndrome is a blessing in disguise. Toni lives in the moment. There is no anticipation for the future, no dread of a hard test or disappointments, no what ifs. The past is the past. No regrets no anguish over blunders. Fresh starts are every moment, with new adventures to be enjoyed. Maybe I should take lessons from her playbook and be more like her.Any way Happy Birthday to Toni! I celebrate with you!
